Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
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