Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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