Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
‪So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?‬
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
