OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
