I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
