I want to make a zoo with you.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Boobs speak an international language.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
