fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
