They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize