If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
