He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
