You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
