I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
