Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
