she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
