She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize