the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
