so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
