Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Randomize
