You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Found your dick twin last night
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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