I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
