I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
