last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
