So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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