id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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