Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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