HIV tests are more positive than that guy
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
