It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
