I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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