Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
