Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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