YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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