So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
