just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
