so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
