I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
