Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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