Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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