another moral hangover. fuck.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
