you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
