we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
