remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
