Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
