btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
