It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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