Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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