trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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