Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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