New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
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