To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
