Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
