We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
