Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
this will be a night to untag.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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