Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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