I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
