He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
