Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
