So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
