He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize