also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
