i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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