Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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