i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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