Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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