we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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