I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
