Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
