Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
