You just made me feel so damn special
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
