i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
