was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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