Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
