I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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