I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Randomize