sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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