note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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