I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
