fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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